Chapter 4
We can work it out, Dude!

While we sat on our beds in the dark, (me with one foot slightly raised and squinting sideways across the room) Dude told me the whole story. It was a doozy of a story, let me tell you. If I hadn't seen his spaceship, or those glowing-globby creatures, I never would have believed any of it, that's for sure.

First he told me that the spaceship I had seen was really only the Inter-galactic late-bus. It was dropping him off at Earth for his assignment for the after-school BetterWorld Kids Club, which he had never really wanted to join in the first place, but he had to, because he needed the extra credit.

I raised my leg up higher and squinted harder at his green glow in the darkness, completely blown away by everything he was saying. A million questions raced through my head and I began blurting them out, in no particular order.

"Is there really life on other planets?" I whispered. "Is there hope for Earth? Can you read people's minds? Can you control the future? Am I going to pass my Spanish test tomorrow? Why do I have to hold my body in such an uncomfortable position to hear you the way everybody else does? How come no one can see that you're an alien when I can see it so clearly... "

Dude blinked as he tried to keep up with my questions. I finally stopped and he started with the last one, because that's the only one he could remember.

"Like, I'm really not sure why you can see me as I really am, Johnny," he admitted. "No one else can see the way I really look because of the Fit-In-ability Shield produced by my watch. I know you've felt that I've made everyone like me so much more than you, and like I'm really sorry, but I had to turn it up all the way. Or else they'd, like, you know, see like you know, me, like, as if, you know, well..." (My leg had gotten tired, so I had to rest it a second.) "...the way I am. And I'm pretty pathetic. I'm really, like you know, sorry you have to squint and hold your leg in such a like you know, totally like uncomfortable, you know position, to like hear me the way you know, everyone else well, does."

Then he told me the whole sad story. About how he was at the bottom of his class at school. About how he had to sign up for the InterStellar BetterWorld Kids Club for extra credit or he was going to "like totally, um, you know, like flunk out of well, you know, school." I wasn't sure which was worse - the pain of maintaining the flamingo-position or listening to Dude speak if I didn't hold that pose.

"And because I'm like such a total screw-up, they gave me the hardest and most totally impossible location - Earth. But that's okay, because like Man I was doing a whole lot better in English Class than I was in my own, you know, language-thingy. I totally flunked that, Man, but like in English I sort-of well, squeaked by with a you know, C-- last semester!"

It was really hard keeping my leg up. I had to stand at the side of the bed and hold on while I squinted and tried to keep my leg raised high. But it was worth the pain, so I didn't have to strain my brain as much to hear what he was saying.

Dude started to get all teary-eyed. "But like, Man, I'm really sorry I've made you hate me. I've tried to include you all the time, but you like never want to have anything to do with me. I know that's because I've hurt your feelings and you're mad at me..."

I suddenly felt so guilty for all the things I'd thought about Dude. "Oh, no I'm not, Dude," I said quickly, realizing how much I liked my alien friend.

Then I remembered those yucky little critters that had stolen Dude's watch. Dude seemed to read my mind. "Those are the meanie-kabeenies," he sighed. "They're all over the Universe causing trouble."

"Uh … I ... er ... uh ... the ... um ... the meanie-kabeenies?" I stammered, sounding an awful lot like Dude.

"Yeah, there's the red-angries, and the yellow-fraidies, and the blue-bluezies and the grey-lazies." Dude sighed. "There's all kinds of meanie-kabeenies."

"But I've never seen them before!" I insisted.

"Well, that's because you're dreaming now."

"Huh?" Now I was completely confused. "I thought we decided I was awake?"

"It's complicated," Dude sighed. "You're sort of awake and dreaming at the same time. Normally you can't see the meanie-kabeenies. No one can really see them. But they're all around, sliming people all the time, just the same. They make kids and adults do all kinds of things they really don't want to do."

"Wow!" It was all so strange, but it seemed to explain why people could be happy and calm one second and then completely irrational the next. "Well, how did you stop those slimy meanie kabeenies?" I asked, because he sure did get rid of the ones that were attacking me.

"Through Kindness," Dude said matter-of-factly. "Whenever someone's filled with anger or jealousy or fear or all those other mixed-up meanie-kabeenie emotions, you can steer them back to their senses by helping them to be calm and peaceful. You do that by showing them kindness, and by saying kind words. Peace and Love - they really are powerful forces."

I'd seen how powerful they were with my own eyes.

"Yeah, because you're dreaming you got to see what's happening 'behind the scenes' when you share kindness and kind words. It's like an energy that calms and soothes people."

I guess it was because I was dreaming that this all sort of made sense.

"We'd better get to sleep now, Johnny. Tomorrow's a big day. A big cloud of slimers rained down over the planet this evening, and tomorrow's going to be tricky at school. We've got a lot of work to do to get the world over this latest rash of meanie-kabeenies."

"We...?" I asked.

"Sure!" Dude exclaimed. "Like I, you know, well, like I totally need your, um, well, help, pal."

I felt really honored and proud and needed. I fell asleep with a smile on my face. It was still there when I woke up and saw Dude stretching on his bed.

"Hey, Dude," I called over, remembering to squint, tilt my head, and raise my foot up.

"Good morning, Johnny," Dude yawned.

"Dude, was it real last night?"

Dude nodded. "Yeah, pal. We've got a lot of work to do today!"

Dude was right. Every one at school seemed especially grumpy that morning. There were so many arguments and disagreements that halfway through the day, the Principal called the whole school together for an assembly to find out what was going on.

"Like, uh, man, like, um, well... Here, put these on," Dude whispered next to me in the auditorium. He handed me a pair of rose-colored sunglasses.

I did what he said, and suddenly I saw why there were so many problems at school. The glasses made it so that I could see that practically every kid, and most of the teachers too, had been slimed by the meanie-kabeenies.

The Principal asked if anyone had any ideas about how to get things back to normal at school. There was a lot of noisy grumbling but no one raised their hands. Except, Dude, of course.

I scrunched down in my seat, worrying what everyone was going to say when they heard about the meanie-kabeenies. But he didn't mention them. Instead he just looked at everyone with a big smile for a moment. "Like, um... you know, uh..."

I quickly assumed the flamingo-position and heard the eloquent speech everyone else was hearing. His Fit-In-ability shield must have been completely turned up all the way, because with my glasses on I could see waves of kindness just flowing out from Dude to the whole auditorium. The slime dripping on everyone seemed to get lighter and softer-looking.

Then Dude told us that we could get through this by going out of our way to try to be nice to each other. He asked everyone to take a deep breath, and relax. He said that any time we felt angry we should take a "time out" and count to ten or take a deep breath. When we did this it would help us see the situation more clearly so that we wouldn't react in a way that we'd regret later.

He talked about 'conflict resolution' - how we needed to listen to each other and find ways to work out disagreements so that both sides could be winners. He talked about peer mediation - how we could help others work their problems out calmly, by listening to both sides of an argument and helping them to find win-win solutions.

He asked the kids if they'd like to be part of a BetterWorld Kids Club that they could set up together. All the kids seemed interested.

Then Dude told everyone that the same thing that had happened in our school was happening in other schools. And it wasn't just kids - adults in their neighborhoods and at their jobs were feeling the same kinds of mixed-up emotions.

"But like, you, know, I mean, um, well, sort-of, well... us kids can help them to work their problems out. We can each help kindness to grow by sharing it with one person at a time. If we all shared kindness, it would spread like wildfire." He also suggested we set up a web page, and share these simple tools for getting our "mads out" on the Internet.

"We can work it out, Dude!" someone shouted, and everyone started clapping.

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