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* If you start a conversation with the assumption that you are right or that you must win, obviously it is difficult to talk. ~ Wendell Berry

It seemed rather incongruous that in a society of supersophisticated communication, we often suffer from a shortage of listeners.
-- Erma Bombeck

Behind every argument is someone's ignorance.
-- Louis D. Brandeis

Listening, not imitation, may be the sincerest form of flattery.
-- Dr. Joyce Brothers

They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.
-- Carl W. Buechner

The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.
-- Dale Carnegie

When dealing with people, remember you are not dealing with creatures of logic, but creatures of emotion.
-- Dale Carnegie

"There are four ways, and only four ways, in which we have contact with the world. We are evaluated and classified by these four contacts: what we do, how we look, what we say, and how we say it."
-- Dale Carnegie

Courage is what it takes to stand up and speak; courage is also what it takes to sit down and listen.
-- Winston Churchill

* The reality today is that we are all interdependent and have to co-exist on this small planet. Therefore, the only sensible and intelligent way of resolving differences and clashes of interests, whether between individuals or nations, is through dialogue. - The Dalai Lama

* The reality today is that we are all interdependent and have to co-exist on this small planet. Therefore, the only sensible and intelligent way of resolving differences and clashes of interests, whether between individuals or nations, is through dialogue. - The Dalai Lama

* There is more than a verbal tie between the words common, community, and communication.... Try the experiment of communicating, with fullness and accuracy, some experience to another, especially if it be somewhat complicated, and you will find your own attitude toward your experience changing. -- John Dewey

* "The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said." -- Peter F. Drucker

* Dialogue is a non-confrontational communication, where both partners are willing to learn from the other and therefore leads much farther into finding new grounds together -- Scilla Elworthy

We have two ears and one mouth so that we can listen twice as much as we speak.”
-- Epictetus

Whenever two good people argue over principles, they are both right.
-- Marie Ebner von Eschenbach

If you go in for argument, take care of your temper. Your logic, if you have any, will take care of itself.
-- Joseph Farrell

If there is any great secret of success in life, it lies in the ability to put yourself in the other person’s place and to see things from his point of view – as well as your own.
-- Henry Ford

* Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. -- Benjamin Franklin

* Remember not only to say the right thing in the right place, but far more difficult still, to leave unsaid the wrong thing at the tempting moment. -- Benjamin Franklin

The colossal misunderstanding of our time is the assumption that insight will work with people who are unmotivated to change. Communication does not depend on syntax, or eloquence, or rhetoric, or articulation but on the emotional context in which the message is being heard. People can only hear you when they are moving toward you, and they are not likely to when your words are pursuing them. Even the choices words lose their power when they are used to overpower. Attitudes are the real figures of speech.
-- Edwin H. Friedman

Most quarrels amplify a misunderstanding.
-- Andre Gide

No one would talk much in society if they knew how often they misunderstood others.
-- Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe

Many attempts to communicate are nullified by saying too much.
-- Robert Greeleaf

Hear one side and you will be in the dark. Hear both and all will be clear.
-- Thomas C. Haliburton

There are men who would quickly love each other if once they were speak to each other; for when they spoke they would discover that their souls had only separated by phantoms and delusions.
-- Ernest Hello

When people talk, listen completely. Most people never listen.
-- Ernest Hemingway

* Knowledge speaks, but wisdom listens. -- Jimi Hendrix

"Without mutual knowledge there can be no mutual understanding; without understanding, there can be no trust and respect; without trust, there can be no peace, only the danger of conflict. This means we have to be willing and able to familiarize ourselves with the way people of other cultures think and perceive the world around them, but without losing our own standpoint in the process."
-- Roman Herzog, President of Germany

There are men who would quickly love each other if once they were speak to each other; for when they spoke they would discover that their souls had only separated by phantoms and delusions.
-- Ernest Hello

Speak clearly, if you speak at all; carve every word before you let it fall.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

It is the province of knowledge to speak, and it is the privilege of wisdom to listen.
-- Oliver Wendell Holmes

* A world community can exist only with world communication, which means something more than extensive short-wave facilities scattered ;about the globe. It means common understanding, a common tradition, common ideas, and common ideals. -- Robert Maynard Hutchins

The relationship is the communication bridge between people.
-- Alfred Kadushin

* I am in favor of increased communication and cooperation between countries, but it is more important that each country becomes responsible for its own actions, its own communities, its own economies, before starting to integrate in large regional or global supranational organizations. -- David Korten

“There will be no peace among the nations without peace among the religions and no peace among the religions without dialogue.”
--Fr. Hans Kung

The trouble with talking too fast is you may say something you haven't thought of yet.
-- Ann Landers

"The reason why so few people are agreeable in conversations is that each is thinking more about what he intends to say than about what others are saying, and we never listen when we are eager to speak."
-- Francois La Rochefoucauld

* When I'm getting ready to reason with a man, I spend one-third of my time thinking about myself and what I am going to say--and two-thirds thinking about him and what he is going to say. -- Abraham Lincoln

* "There cannot be greater rudeness than to interrupt another in the current of his discourse." -- John Locke

“To listen well is as powerful a means of communication and influence as to talk well”
-- John Marshall

We come to know ourselves, then, through coming to know each other. And the deeper that knowledge, the richer and more creative the world we build together."
-- Danny Martin, Director of ICRE (International Communities for the Renewal of the Earth)

Communication leads to community, that is, to understanding, intimacy and mutual valuing.
-- Rollo May

* “Dialogue is the only way to end war and terror. We need practical solidarity with those who are weaker and diplomacy from below.” -- Luisa Morgantini

* Before the tongue can speak, it must have lost the power to wound. -- Peace Pilgrim

* You cannot truly listen to anyone and do anything else at the same time. -- M. Scott Peck

“Communication works for those who work at it.”
-- John Powell

"The genius of communication is the ability to be both totally honest and totally kind at the same time."
-- John Powell

The most basic and powerful way to connect to another person is to listen. Just listen. Perhaps the most important thing we ever give each other is our attention…. A loving silence often has far more power to heal and to connect than the most well-intentioned words.
-- Rachel Naomi Remen

“To effectively communicate, we must realize that we are all different in the way we perceive the world and use this understanding as a guide to our communication with others.”
-- Anthony Robbins

“The way we communicate with others and with ourselves ultimately determines the quality of our lives”
-- Anthony Robbins

* We have to face the fact that either all of us are going to die together or we are going to learn to live together and if we are to live together we have to talk. -- Eleanor Roosevelt

Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible -- the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.
-- Virginia Satir

When we have the courage to speak out – to break our silence – we inspire the rest of the "moderates" in our communities to speak up and voice their views.
-- Sharon Schuster

* Many of the conflicts in our lives and in the world are caused by misunderstandings. Sometimes we jump to conclusions about why others do things. Sometimes we don't understand the cultural differences of others. Poor communication makes the conflict worse. Real dialogue can often lead to understanding, helping communities to get along much better. -- Robert Alan Silverstein

Two monologues do not make a dialogue.
--Andy Sivell

* One of the basic causes for all the trouble in the world today is that people talk too much and think too little. They act impulsively without thinking. I always try to think before I talk. -- Margaret Chase Smith

Give me the gift of a listening heart.
-- King Solomon

"Make a distinction between the person and their opinions—opinions are like clothes, a matter of taste and fashion that can be changed at will. Don't mistake them for the essential core."
- Mark Somner

“Deep listening is miraculous for both listener and speaker. When someone receives us with open-hearted, non-judging, intensely interested listening, our spirits expand.”
-- Sue Patton Thoele

Precision of communication is important, more important than ever, in our era of hair trigger balances, when a false or misunderstood word may create as much disaster as a sudden thoughtless act.
-- James Thurber

We shall never be able to remove suspicion and fear as potential causes of war until communication is permitted to flow, free and open, across international boundaries.
-- Harry S. Truman

* If you have nothing to say, say nothing. -- Mark Twain

* "The whole purpose of democracy is that we may hold counsel with one another, so as not to depend upon the understanding of one man." -- Woodrow Wilson The ear of the leader must ring with the voices of the people. -- Woodrow Wilson

“Think like a wise man but communicate in the language of the people.”
-- William Butler Yeats

Dialogue Day - May 21

PRINT OUT SET OF DIALOGUE QUOTES HANDOUTS